Ocean of Emotion

I find it so fascinating to watch children learn and deal with their emotions. My children are at completely different ends of the spectrum when it comes to the ocean of emotion. One is just dipping his toes in the surf and mimicking every point of contact that he sees. While the other has his wet suit on and surf board tucked under his arm - staring in awe at the cresting waves all the while keeping in the shallow waters. Both get their emotional cues though from those around them not the least of which is us as parents.

Take for instance with Baby G. He is just starting to really show a personality and on Sunday when we were at the grocery store, just he and I, he kept leaning his head out over the cart towards me and making a "mmmm-mah" sound - for those of you who don't speak Gavinese - that is a big ol' KISS. He did it over and over and it was just so precious that it sent a wave of warm emotion over my heart. So much so that I almost directed my cart to customer service and asked for a copy of their video surveillance of the frozen food section just so I could keep that memory for posterity. Fearing child protective services and the "Code Pink" (crazy lady on premises) on my next visit, I obviously just tried to take a mental picture of him for when he is in the throws of the terrible twos and exhibiting no redeeming qualities what-so-ever! Not to mention that he is exhibiting many of Eric's personality traits so if that continues, I know these unabashed displays of affection will not last forever.

Jackson on the other hand is my loving one. Which unfortunately for him means that he inherited his mommy's ......ahem...."passion" (that is the word that E always uses when he gets the "describe your wife in one word" question). I will admit, it has it's good points and bad points - both of which we have already seen in him. Because I prefer to focus on the positive, both for his sake and for mine, I wanted to tell you a cute story that happened Monday evening. I picked the kids up from school and Jackson was already charged with excitement at the thought of picking up his new battery powered Jeep. He had been checking our email (funny in and of itself) waiting to see when it was available at the store for pick up and just about leapt through the phone when he called to tell me we could pick it up the next day. By the time the store clerk brought it out, he was grinning from ear to ear and almost yelled when he saw the picture on the box "Mommy - it's BLUE!!!" (his favorite color). I admit, I was excited for him and as I got in the car and made my way through the parking lot, I launched into this soliloquy about how much his great grandparents loved him (it was their Christmas gift to the boys) and how he should feel so blessed to have such a generous family and how thankful we should be to God for these blessings, etc. etc. (yeah - I was having one of "those" mom moments). I looked in the rear view mirror both to make sure he was listening and to see that big toothy grin and I was surprised to find him with his hand over his mouth, appearing to be close to tears, and taking these short little breaths. I said "Jackson, what's wrong??" I swear I am not making this up...he looked right at me and said "I'm just...just...filled with joy". Obviously as my son, he has seen me choked up and I've had to explain that people sometimes cry when the are happy. Looking at him, it occurred to me that the hand over his mouth was as much trying not to cry as trying to hold in all joy - he didn't want any to escape. I probably should be embarrassed that this happened over a "toy" but I just took it to mean that he got what I was saying - he literally FELT blessed. Wherever my kids are on that ocean of emotion, I'm happy to grab my own surf board, scuffed as it may be from thirty some odd years of catching waves of my own and meet them right where they are at! As a mom, there's almost nothing that beats getting back some of the emotional energy that you put into your kids! LOVE IT!

Catch up Post #1 - The Haircut

Well since my oldest son has declared his intent to be the next Vidal Sassoon, I thought I would show you what my youngest thought of his first trip to the salon. It was blissfully uneventful (praise God) and we were the only customer there when the haircut started. In fact, the only time he seemed to even show emotion was for approximately one minute when he dropped the duck he had been holding for security. He looked like such a big boy and took it all in stride....

With brother there to show him the ropes (J reminded me that he wasn't getting his hair cut here - "I go to Sportclips"- mental rolling of the eyes)

The "before" picture....did I really let it get THAT long?

"Hey - check out my new ride!"

"A car, a cape -this place is pretty cool"

The first CUT...

"So pretty much I just sit like this the whole time? Well this is easy!"

"But I dropped my ducky...."

"...oh good, blue ducky is back- continue on with whatever you're doing"

"what about clippers?? - I hadn't even noticed.."

"I'll just look down here while she cuts the back...you know me Mr. Accommodating"

A little gel...and more importantly, a BALLOON!

Tah Dah! ALL DONE!

"Mommy says I'm a pretty handsome fella"

I would say I just got lucky that time but I have been back for another haircut since (remember this is the first of many needed catch up posts)and he was just as unimpressed with it the second time. YEAH! I know I am completely and shamefully biased but who wouldn't love this face!!

A New Year through a Child's Eyes...

New Year's Eve is different things to different people. For some (early 20's folks), it is a time to go out on the town and kick up your well dressed heels. For others (late 30's crowd), maybe it is a nice dinner with friends and celebrating with the Californians before heading off to bed (ding ding ding - we have a winner!). Have you ever wondered what New Year's eve means to a toddler? Well thankfully the teacher at Jackson's school thought to ask her class about it. When I went to pick him up yesterday, I found the class bulletin board filled with papers where each child answered the questions she asked and she dutifully wrote down exactly what they said. I have talked to her before about another version of this exercise (remind me to tell you later about their "recipes for Thanksgiving" - hilarious) and I know she writes absolutely word-for-word what they say and doesn't try to explain the question in order to get a "right" answer. It's no accident that they used to have a whole television show based on the funny things that kids say because there were some laugh out loud funny responses. Here are Jackson's...

1. What does New Years Day mean? It is the first day of the first new year. [I know it seems like a straight forward easy question but there were very few kids who "got it". One kid put "It's a day to sleep"...(I'm guessing his parents were over 30 from my examples above and tried to pretend they were still in their early 20's)]
2. What do you want to do more of at school that you didn't do last year? I want to play more in the morning first. [Okay so my kid who seemed so smart after the first answer now thinks that he should have more time to play....learn - no, improve handwriting - no, better behavior - no... well okay good to know that our expectations are the same - hmmmm]
3. How old will you be this year? 5 [As all kids do, there were a couple kids who attempted to be more specific and add a "and a half" to their age. I can remember the week after Jackson's fourth birthday he told a neighborhood friend that he was "almost five".... close.]
4. What is your New Year's resolution for 2009? I want to go to church more. [This could be good or bad....either all his classmates parents will think that we NEVER go to church or we have a church that is so fun and it is back to the whole "more playing" thing again. I chose the later and personally I think it has something to do with the fact that he is only a few "attendance tickets" shy of one of the prizes he thinks is so cool.]
5. What did you do for New Years? I was sitting and throwing the football. [I didn't glance at the other answers on this very well but I can only hope every other kid's family was being equally as "lazy".]
6. What would you like to be when you grow up? First I will be a haircutter and then I'm gonna be a football player. [Okay seriously - where to start with this answer...."haircutter" - what!?! First let me say that he has never mentioned it before and I think it is only because of his new found obsession with Sportclips where his teenage cousin got him hooked on - watching sports while doing anything is right up his alley. Secondly, how do I break it to him that I don't know a single beauty school dropout that played football or even vice-versa. I know, I know - I don't break it to him....instead I just smile, chuckle to myself, and file this little paper away to pull out at the football banquet when he is a high school senior and embarrass him mercilessly! Incidentally, the most comment answer from his class was "teacher"...probably because they are lucky enough to have a GREAT one!]

Another post for another day...

I suppose I should start with an apology for my lengthy absence. I've started this post about one million times in my head. My reason(s) for not putting thoughts to electronic paper is a little bit of thousands of "reasons" which include (and as usual in no semblance of order or sense) thoughts of "who cares - no one is reading it or commenting anyway", "there are way more important things to do", "I'm so busy that my head literally hurts" (side note: I hate the word 'busy' since it is so overused, completely relative, and truth be told could almost always be avoided - but that's another post for another day), "I'm not that funny/interesting/noteworthy/[insert any other self deprecating adjective]", "my problems seem so minor compared to what some of my friends are going through", "I'm sad", "my kids need more of me", "my house is a mess", "I need to go buy one more Christmas gift", "I can't write", "I have 350 pictures that need uploaded and my computer is starting a coup against me and refusing to work at anything above a one-legged turtle's pace".

I am aware that no one was asking for a reason but I know I am not alone in the feeling of always being compelled to justify everything. If someone asks us to do something we can't just say "no I can't", we feel the need to list of our day's itinerary so they can see for themselves and know that we REALLY can't. When someone apologizes, we want them not to just say "I'm so sorry", we want to know "I'm sorry for 'X' and 'Y'" just to make sure that if they didn't know they needed to apologize for 'Z' - well they do now (again - another post for another day). Part of my trouble starting this post was just that - knowing where to start!?! It is sort of like me in my scrapbooking. I have these wonderful pictures in my new camera (OMGoodness - I got a Nikon D90 for Christmas and it absolutely rocks - another post for another day) that I would love to make pages with but the engineer in me feel the need to keep going in order which would mean that I am on year 2 of Jackson's almost 5 years of life. And poor Gavin - I promise mommy will make you a scrapbook too....as a second child myself - I am truly ashamed - ASHAMED!

So there you go - not knowing where to start led to a bunch of rambling and thinking of a thousand things that I want to say... but at least I have let you know that I am still alive in the blogging world, I LOVE your comments, I beg your forgiveness for my hiatus, and I promise to catch you up with the goings on at the Huffman House....but that's another post for another day!

Prayers for Caden

My neighbors growing up were this dear Christian couple named Ed and Peggy White. Their son Darin is my age and we have known each other since we were four. Darin's son, Caden, is five years old and was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. After much treatment and prayers, he has been living cancer free (Praise God) for the last six months. I just received word that the cancer is back and the new tumor is growing rapidly. The doctors are saying that the cancer has developed immunity to it so additional treatments would be ineffective. We fully believe in the power of God to heal Caden, the doctor's have numbered the time in weeks. Please find your knees and pray mightily for this sweet boy and his wonderful family. I have included a link to his website (CADEN WHITE) and encourage you to go there and read the update from the family as I feel my words are so inadequately expressing the situation. My heart breaks for them and my broken heart seems to render my writing senseless.

Prayers Needed

I received an email from my sister today that literally stopped me in my tracks. Here I was late to work because I was home with my 11 month old who had both pink eye AND strep throat. Then I get her email about this unimaginably brave young woman named Stephanie and it put my very small problems into perspective.

I am giving you my friend, Stephanie's, website address. www.stephanievest.com. She is the one I told you that was diagnosed with Gamma Delta lymphoma of the skin. She has been through the ringer....kidney problems, dialysis, fluid-filled lungs, feeding tubes, ventilators, congestive heart failure, and last week they found cancer in her liver via a PET scan. She had two diff. forms of chemo. last week, but her liver did not respond to them. Her liver has stopped performing its normal function of ridding her body of toxins and is solely trying to fight the cancer. Thus, her bilirubin is at a 38 and the toxins are going into her body. The average person goes unconscious at a 15, but our Stephanie has been conscious, even singing hymns as her family and friends held a mini church service around her bed yesterday. She even requested bible verses. She also put on her own chapstick yesterday. Jen, she is so amazing and strong, not only as a person but in her faith as well. Please help me pray for a miracle for her. Please pray that God heal her liver, that He rid her body of the cancer and heal her completely, for her husband, Eric, for her to be able to go home and hug her boys, Zach,7 and Cole, 4 and so that her 4.5 month old daughter, Gracie, will be able to know her mommy. My heart is breaking in two for them. At this time, she is in God's hands. So, all we can do is pray, pray, pray.

Please take a moment to pray for her, her family, the doctors, etc. Check out her website too as it is an amazing testimony for her faith.

Costumed Kids

Like most people last Friday night, we went trick-0r-treating. It was not without drama since Jackson was "strongly opposed" to the grim reaper costumes of a couple of the neighborhood kids but finally he decided that it was fun. Since Gavin isn't walking yet, he just strolled along behind and instead of collecting candy, he just made mental notes for his first official trip next year. I don't have all the pictures yet as I am the only person in the country who still uses a film camera BUT I do have a few quick pics of my costumed kids - ENJOY!