The two "M" words

I know I know, it's been a long time between posts and no I didn't die from taking another spin class (although I do have my first workout with my new trainer today so stay tune for what I'm sure will be some entertaining recaps on that sweaty endeavor). Today's post is going to be much shorter (you're welcome) but was just something that struck me as funny. It was one of those moments when I had a glimpse into the future of my life as a mother of teenage boys and I couldn't help but be a little sick to my stomach. For those who may not know me well enough, I am a card carrying member of COA (Compulsive Overanalyzers Anonymous) and this is only further triggered around my children when I am trying to figure out if I have in any way lost my chance at a card for the PMA (Perfect Mother's Association).

I picked up my kids from preschool and as we were traveling to and from the grocery store, Jackson asked me a few of his priceless questions. Jackson is always talking, thinking, asking questions - it is just his nature....poor thing - he is just a little too much , well, ME. I am never surprised by the breadth and depth of his questions but sometimes, as in this case, the subject matter does give me a pause. We were driving along with the radio on and out of nowhere he says “Momma, have you ever gotten a mass-ah-judge?”. I ask “A massage?? [brain processing: quick check of the radio – nope nothing about spas or massages….where could he be going with this?] Well, yes, mommy has gotten a massage before”. I know him well enough to know I don’t want to just leave it at that and I add “What made you ask that bud?”. “Well today Patty (girl at school – names changed to protect the innocent) and I were playing and giving each other haircuts and then massages”. The last massage I had was when I was pregnant with him so I have to wonder… “Was this Patty’s idea?”. He says “Yeah, we were just pretending…we mass-ah-judged our backs”. I know Jackson is a very loving kid and is not afraid of showing emotion but kids are inherently innocent so I didn’t know quite how to take this recent development. Always staying on my toes during a Q&A with Jackson I figured I would throw something back for good measure and said “Well remember how Ms. Nina says we need to keep our hands to ourselves so maybe we should just stick to haircuts so we don’t get in trouble.” “Yeah – I know momma”. Okay, well that went well…I guess…no sign of trouble.

Then after going in and out of the store, we were back in the car and headed home. Then this little gem of a question came out… “Momma, the next time I get my hair cut…can I get a mohawk??” I replied “A mohawk? [brain processing: quick check of the radio – nope nothing about rock bands or mohawks….where could he be going with this?] …really?” “Yeah, and then when I walk into Ms. Nina’s class all the boys will say ‘Dude – COOL’ [said with both arms extended into number one signs above his head]". Use of the word 'dude' - is this kid 5 or 15??Trying to maintain my Q&A toe balance, I said “Maybe we could just comb it into a Mohawk after your bath tonight and use some of that cool gel?” “Yeah – and if it breaks during the night then daddy can fix it in the morning”. Oh boy….no literally oh THAT boy!

So as a card carrying COA member, I am currently trying to purge the mental image of my son sometime in the future wearing a mohawk and giving back massages?!?!? I had only one sister growing up so having only boys, I fear we are headed for trouble....big trouble.

And yes….”short post” is a relative term.