Another post for another day...

I suppose I should start with an apology for my lengthy absence. I've started this post about one million times in my head. My reason(s) for not putting thoughts to electronic paper is a little bit of thousands of "reasons" which include (and as usual in no semblance of order or sense) thoughts of "who cares - no one is reading it or commenting anyway", "there are way more important things to do", "I'm so busy that my head literally hurts" (side note: I hate the word 'busy' since it is so overused, completely relative, and truth be told could almost always be avoided - but that's another post for another day), "I'm not that funny/interesting/noteworthy/[insert any other self deprecating adjective]", "my problems seem so minor compared to what some of my friends are going through", "I'm sad", "my kids need more of me", "my house is a mess", "I need to go buy one more Christmas gift", "I can't write", "I have 350 pictures that need uploaded and my computer is starting a coup against me and refusing to work at anything above a one-legged turtle's pace".

I am aware that no one was asking for a reason but I know I am not alone in the feeling of always being compelled to justify everything. If someone asks us to do something we can't just say "no I can't", we feel the need to list of our day's itinerary so they can see for themselves and know that we REALLY can't. When someone apologizes, we want them not to just say "I'm so sorry", we want to know "I'm sorry for 'X' and 'Y'" just to make sure that if they didn't know they needed to apologize for 'Z' - well they do now (again - another post for another day). Part of my trouble starting this post was just that - knowing where to start!?! It is sort of like me in my scrapbooking. I have these wonderful pictures in my new camera (OMGoodness - I got a Nikon D90 for Christmas and it absolutely rocks - another post for another day) that I would love to make pages with but the engineer in me feel the need to keep going in order which would mean that I am on year 2 of Jackson's almost 5 years of life. And poor Gavin - I promise mommy will make you a scrapbook too....as a second child myself - I am truly ashamed - ASHAMED!

So there you go - not knowing where to start led to a bunch of rambling and thinking of a thousand things that I want to say... but at least I have let you know that I am still alive in the blogging world, I LOVE your comments, I beg your forgiveness for my hiatus, and I promise to catch you up with the goings on at the Huffman House....but that's another post for another day!